A Short Guide to Not Disrupting Anyone with Your Airborne Existence
In Japan’s age of rage etiquette, “cleanliness” has evolved from civic duty to social weapon. TTT investigates the rise of Kirehara, where hygiene expectations mutate into interpersonal hostility, bureaucratic metrics, and ambient moral warfare.
Branding the Skyline: Tokyo’s Urban Development Poem Championship Begins
A satirical look at Japan’s Urban Development Poem Championship, where real estate developers submit ad slogans that defy meaning, logic, and translation, branding the skyline one metaphor at a time.
Public Cleanliness Bureau: The Budget Battle Over Dust Beneath Vending Machines
TTT Special Correspondent witnessed the surreal battle over dust beneath vending machines in the Public Cleanliness Bureau. A poetic and political satire on cleanliness, memory, and the absurdity of bureaucracy.
Public Cleanliness Bureau: The Counterattack of the White Line Division
When pigeons defile Tokyo’s white lines, one division uncovers a conspiracy that questions the very meaning of cleanliness.
Ministry of Health to Introduce “Emotional KPIs”
Explore Japan’s latest emotional optimization strategy with “Emotional KPIs”, a nationwide initiative to measure and manage inner peace. From tranquility audits to smile leaderboards, satire meets surveillance in a society striving for quantified serenity.
Shinjuku Station to Rename All Exits “Probably This Way”
JR East renames all Shinjuku Station exits to “Probably This Way,” embracing uncertainty as a service. A surreal dive into Tokyo’s most infamous transit maze and the bureaucratic optimism that made it worse.
Opportunity Reimagined: Letting You Go, So You Can Come Back
Japan’s largest job-matching conglomerate initiates mass layoffs. Departing employees receive onboarding kits... for reentry into the job market they just got swept out of.
New Policy Requires Citizens to Apply for Permission to Blink
Japan’s latest policy mandates government-approved blink permits. Processing time: 6-8 weeks. As citizens struggle to comply, influencers launch extreme ‘no-blink challenges’ while officials warn against ‘reckless eyelid activity.’
Research Confirms 90% of Human Thoughts Are Just Song Lyrics
Discover the surprising truth behind your inner monologue: a groundbreaking study reveals that 90% of human thoughts are just recycled song lyrics. From pop hits to anime themes, find out what's really playing in your head.
New Government-Backed Dating App Pairs Users Who Both Immediately Leave Group Chats
Japan’s newest municipal dating app matches users based on their tendency to leave group chats. Designed for the socially fatigued, it’s romance without replies.
Japan’s Latest Smartphone Upgrade Requires Users to Apologize Before Unlocking
Japan’s latest smartphone update requires users to apologize before unlocking—complete with AI sincerity detection and bow angle verification. As frustrated commuters bow repeatedly to their devices, cultural experts call it ‘a breakthrough in mindful technology.
Bullet Train Upgrade Allows Commuters to Teleport
Japan’s new teleportation-powered bullet train defies science, but somehow works. Passengers vanish, physicists are baffled, and officials insist there’s nothing to question.
AI-Powered Vending Machines Begin Questioning Human Choices
Japan’s AI-powered vending machines are no longer just dispensing drinks. They’re questioning human choices. Now, consumers face beverage judgment.
Study Shows Coffee is 25% More Effective When Consumed in Existential Crisis Mode
Scientists confirm what struggling adults already know. Coffee works 25% better during an existential crisis. Caffeine-fueled panic may be the new productivity hack.
Nationwide Backlash as Tokyo Café Serves “Hyper-Spicy Ramen”
A Tokyo café’s “Hyper-Spicy Ramen” is causing customers to see visions, relive childhood memories, and recite poetry mid-meal. No health issues reported, just nationwide confusion, emotional breakthroughs, and a Ministry advisory.
Tokyo Convenience Stores Begin Offering Emotion Meal Packs
Tokyo convenience stores have begun selling “Emotion Meal Packs”, prepackaged doses of curated sentimentality. Located beside bento boxes, these refrigerated pouches allow customers to select cry temperature and emotional flavor.
SoyGate Part 3: Soy Sauce Revolution
Japan’s condiment crisis has reached full-scale rebellion. Furious citizens demand the return of full-sized soy sauce bottles as supermarkets brace for chaos. Underground smugglers, emergency legislation, and corporate deception. This is the battle for seasoning justice.
SoyGate Part 2: Leaked Documents Reveal Shadowy Condiment Industry Plot
Leaked documents reveal a shocking decades-long plot by condiment executives to shrink soy sauce bottles without public notice. Secret corporate memos, undercover whistleblowers, and rising consumer outrage. SoyGate is unfolding fast, and the fight for full-sized condiments has begun.
SoyGate Part 1: Soy Sauce Bottles Keep Shrinking
Soy sauce bottles are shrinking. But food companies insist nothing has changed. Conspiracy theorists demand answers, consumers measure bottles in protest, and restaurants discreetly adjust portion sizes. Is this the condiment scandal of the decade?
Corporate Kindergarten: The Shinsotsu Myth and Its Specters
In Japan, the “Shinsotsu card” is treated as a rite of passage. But what if this unquestioned ritual is masking a deeper conformity? This essay questions the silent pressures shaping career choices for young adults, and invites readers to confront the quiet absurdities we all see but rarely name.
“You Must Dominate Your Inner Peace”: An Interview with Master Tranquilitus
We interviewed Master Tranquilitus, a meditation instructor who trains seekers to dominate serenity with silence sprints and aggressive stillness. Things got intense, a potted plant fell over, and the void blinked first.
Louder than Headlines: The Silence Around Akira Otani’s Dagger Award Win
Japanese author Akira Otani wins the CWA Dagger Award for translated crime fiction, yet major UK media remain silent. A quiet reflection on what goes unspoken.
What Prophecies Reveal Isn’t the Future. It’s Us.
What will happen on July 5, 2025? Prophecies don’t reveal the future, they reflect the present. A long-form opinion piece exploring crowd psychology, the media’s role, and the shifting burden of responsibility in an age of uncertainty.
I Sold My TV in the Name of Minimalism. Now I Stare at a Blank Wall for Fun
An extreme minimalist sold his TV to embrace simplicity… only to discover the unexpected joys of blank-wall entertainment. In this personal essay, he reflects on his journey toward owning less… and staring more.
Luxury Brand Launches Limited-Edition Carbon Credits, Sells Out in 12 Minutes
A satirical deep dive into the rise of prestige offsets, where luxury brands like Gucci and Chanel repackage climate guilt as exclusive experiences. From bottled glacier tears to carbon-scented perfumes, sustainability has never smelled so expensive.
Study Finds 78% of Reusable Tote Bags Now Emotionally Exhausted
A new study reveals 78% of reusable tote bags are emotionally exhausted, trapped in households flooded by eco-friendly overcommitment. A deep dive into canvas despair.
Study Confirms Clouds Are Moving 12% Faster Than in the 1980s. What Are They Running From?
Scientists confirm clouds are moving 12% faster than in the 1980s. Experts don’t know why. Citizens panic. Government insists there’s nothing to worry about. But is there?
Wholesome Stories
Mystery Turtle Appears in Tokyo Park Every Full Moon
Every full moon, a mysterious turtle appears at a Tokyo park watching the sky with quiet reverence before disappearing at dawn. No one knows why he comes or where he goes, but one thing remains certain: he is never late for his lunar appointment.
Rescue Dolphin Returns Every Year to “Check In” on the Humans Who Saved Him
Years after being rescued from fishing nets, Kota the dolphin continues to return every year to ‘check in’ on his human friends. But his visits aren’t just heartwarming. They come with pranks, stolen diving fins, and just enough chaos to prove he’s still in charge.
Local Dog Learns to “Fake Fetch” Just to Confuse Humans
Tired of being tricked by humans, Hachi the golden retriever learned to ‘fake fetch’. Returning with confidence but absolutely no ball. Now, he’s teaching other dogs the prank, leaving owners everywhere questioning reality.
Grandma Secretly Outsmarts Her Fitness Tracker
In a family obsessed with step-count competitions, Grandma Hana seemed like an unlikely contender. Until she discovered a genius trick to outsmart her fitness tracker. With her creativity, she claimed victory and left her family speechless.
Butterfly Lands on Kid’s Head During School Trip Becomes His Emotional Support Bug
During a school trip, a butterfly landed on a young student’s head and refused to leave. Now, 'Momo' has become his unexpected emotional support companion, reminding us that sometimes, nature chooses us.
