Luxury fashion house Maison des Immortels has officially launched its limited-edition carbon credits at its Ginza flagship store, marking the occasion with a lavish rooftop party attended by supermodels, local influencers, and one endangered owl flown in for ambiance. The brand’s CEO, Lucien Delacroix, arrived in Tokyo via private jet to personally oversee the launch and deliver a statement about “the future of aspirational sustainability.”
Held above the Ginza store, the party featured biodegradable confetti, a DJ set powered by “emotionally renewable energy,” and a ceremonial unveiling of the carbon credit certificate, which was presented in a glass case surrounded by dry ice mist. Guests were encouraged to “reflect on their footprint while enjoying foie gras canapés.”
The Queue: Confusion, Excitement, and a Hint of Existential Void
Despite the product being available only at the Ginza store and described as “non-physical, non-functional, and non-refundable,” eager shoppers began lining up the night before. One woman in her twenties, wrapped in a branded blanket from last season’s drop, said: 「よくわかんないけど、有名ブランドの新作はとりあえず買っとかないと、と思って来ました。カーボンってなんかお肌に良さそうだし。(“I don’t really know what carbon credits are, but I have to buy the latest products from famous brands. They seem to be good for my skin.”)」
Inside the store, chaos unfolded as staff handed out numbered envelopes containing the carbon credits. A man in a tailored linen suit clutched his purchase and whispered: 「これで俺も地球に優しい男ってことになるのかな。いや、ならないか。(“Does this make me an environmentally conscious person? No, probably not.”)」
CEO Statement: A Moment of Truth Under Pressure
At the party, Delacroix, speaking from a rooftop garden accessible only by private elevator, stated: “We believe sustainability should be aspirational. Our credits allow customers to feel carbon-neutral without the burden of actual change.”
However, at a press conference the following day, Delacroix was asked by a reporter from The Guardian whether these credits were linked to any actual carbon-reduction initiatives. After a brief pause and visible discomfort, he replied: “It’s not about offsetting emissions, it’s about offsetting guilt.”
He then adjusted his scarf and changed the subject to “the poetic symbolism of vapor.”
Environmental Response: “Greenwashing, But Make It Fashion”
Industry insiders say this marks a new era of “prestige offsets,” where environmental responsibility is rebranded as a luxury experience. Other brands are reportedly preparing similar launches, including:
- Gucci Glacier Drops™ – bottled meltwater from endangered ice caps
- Hermès EcoSilence™ – noise-canceling headphones that block climate discourse
- Chanel Carbon Shadows™ – a fragrance inspired by the smell of disappearing forests
Environmental groups criticized the launch as “a masterclass in aesthetic distraction,” noting that the store’s LED facade consumes more energy than a small hospital. Maison des Immortels responded by stating that the building is “emotionally carbon-neutral” and that the credits are “meant to inspire reflection, not action.”
Product Details
Tokyo Tofu Tribune reporters have verified that each carbon credit includes the following:
- A numbered certificate (1 of 500)
- A velvet pouch made from repurposed showroom curtains
- A short poem about wind
- A QR code linking to a video of a tree being gently complimented
- A scent strip labeled “Forest Guilt No.3”
Within hours of selling out, several credits appeared on resale apps for triple the original price. One listing read: “Mint condition. Smells like responsibility. Perfect for those who wish to feel sustainably superior.”
