Hiroshi Tsuzuki

Political & Social Chaos Correspondent. Japan’s leading expert on wildly exaggerated social phenomena.

Nation Mandates All Citizens Hug a Tree by Fiscal Q4

October 19, 2025

The government’s new Arboreal Embrace Directive requires every citizen to hug a tree by fiscal Q4, logging the act through a mobile app. Officials promise ecological intimacy, while critics warn of bark fatigue and bureaucratized affection.

Long-Lost Siblings: Japan’s Quiet Import Boom

Japan quietly leads the world in importing long-lost siblings via chat apps. TTT explores emotional exports, digital kinship, and the rise of “spiritual adjacency.”

October 2, 2025

by Hiroshi Tsuzuki

Nation Divided Over Whether “Tomorrow” Means Midnight or Sunrise

Across Japan, people quietly disagree on when “tomorrow” begins, midnight or sunrise. TTT explores the emotional

Sunburned in Guam, Divorced in Tokyo: On Skin, Silence, and the Slow Collapse of a Marriage

A personal essay tracing the quiet unraveling of a marriage from a sunburn in Guam to

Branding the Skyline: Tokyo’s Urban Development Poem Championship Begins

Government & Social Chaos

August 24, 2025

by Hiroshi Tsuzuki

A satirical look at Japan’s Urban Development Poem Championship, where real estate developers submit ad slogans that defy meaning, logic, and translation, branding the skyline one metaphor at a time.

Ministry of Health to Introduce “Emotional KPIs”

Government & Social Chaos

July 27, 2025

by Hiroshi Tsuzuki

Explore Japan’s latest emotional optimization strategy with “Emotional KPIs”, a nationwide initiative to measure and manage inner peace. From tranquility audits to smile leaderboards, satire meets surveillance in a society striving for quantified serenity.

“You Must Dominate Your Inner Peace”: An Interview with Master Tranquilitus

Interviews·TTT Exclusive

July 10, 2025

by Hiroshi Tsuzuki

We interviewed Master Tranquilitus, a meditation instructor who trains seekers to dominate serenity with silence sprints and aggressive stillness. Things got intense, a potted plant fell over, and the void blinked first.

I Sold My TV in the Name of Minimalism. Now I Stare at a Blank Wall for Fun

Essay·TTT Exclusive

June 29, 2025

by Hiroshi Tsuzuki

An extreme minimalist sold his TV to embrace simplicity… only to discover the unexpected joys of blank-wall entertainment. In this personal essay, he reflects on his journey toward owning less… and staring more.