Yuki Morita

Science & Technology Correspondent for Useless Discoveries.

Research Confirms 90% of Human Thoughts Are Just Song Lyrics

August 14, 2025

Discover the surprising truth behind your inner monologue: a groundbreaking study reveals that 90% of human thoughts are just recycled song lyrics. From pop hits to anime themes, find out what's really playing in your head.

New Government-Backed Dating App Pairs Users Who Both Immediately Leave Group Chats

Japan’s newest municipal dating app matches users based on their tendency to leave group chats. Designed for the socially fatigued, it’s romance without replies.

July 20, 2025

by Yuki Morita

Japan’s Latest Smartphone Upgrade Requires Users to Apologize Before Unlocking

Japan’s latest smartphone update requires users to apologize before unlocking—complete with AI sincerity detection and bow

Bullet Train Upgrade Allows Commuters to Teleport

Japan’s new teleportation-powered bullet train defies science, but somehow works. Passengers vanish, physicists are baffled, and

AI-Powered Vending Machines Begin Questioning Human Choices

Absurd Science & Technology

May 5, 2025

by Yuki Morita

Japan’s AI-powered vending machines are no longer just dispensing drinks. They’re questioning human choices. Now, consumers face beverage judgment.

Study Shows Coffee is 25% More Effective When Consumed in Existential Crisis Mode

Absurd Science & Technology

May 4, 2025

by Yuki Morita

Scientists confirm what struggling adults already know. Coffee works 25% better during an existential crisis. Caffeine-fueled panic may be the new productivity hack.

Scientists Prove Tofu is Smarter Than Some Humans (But Not All)

Absurd Science & Technology

May 2, 2025

by Yuki Morita

Scientists reveal tofu's surprising intelligence. Smarter than some humans, but not all. Could soy-based genius take over? Experts debate whether tofu deserves a diploma.